10.16.2012

Sassy Gay Friend

Let me set the stage for my lash out:
1) I am in Houston, staying in the kind of Hotel that if I turn off the light, bugs will congregate around my computer screen. Construction workers live in the rooms around me. I can't even go to breakfast without being undressed by some dirty man's eyes.
2) As much as I say I love working out, it is really just a way I trick myself into actually working out. It takes a very special set of circumstances to actually get me to the gym:
a. A TV show that I like must be on.
b. I must be in control of the TV
3) It has been a long day and I want to go to the gym to work off my pent off energy.

I walk into the hotel gym. There is a man sitting on the weight machine, not lifting anything, just sitting and watching the TV. Plus, he is watching Fox News, which in itself isn't the worst thing in the world, but:
a) HE ISN'T EVEN WORKING OUT!
b) As aforementioned, I prefer to pick my own shows, and Fox News is not The Colbert Report.

I don't let it phase me, I can work with Fox News, so I get on the treadmill and start my run. He (STILL not pumping that iron) gives me a dirty look for making noise and turns the volume up. It's whatever, I keep my pace.

Two minutes later, his phone rings and he picks it up and begins to chat. Initially he just puts a finger in his ear to block out the noise, but then he decides to mute the TV.

Um what? Am I not there? If you need to have a convo, go out to the lobby. Still, I give him the benefit of the doubt, thinking it might just be a short call.

No, not a short call.

Fifteen minutes later, I am seething. He is just chatting away while I am dropping all sorts of hints that I would like to be watching TV to distract me from how much I dislike running. How hard is it to walk the 5 steps to the door and have a private conversation?

But it's too late. My inner Sassy Gay Friend has arrived.

When he finally hangs up and I jump off the treadmill and approach him.
"Hey! Could I see the remote?" I asked friendly-like. He was suprised, but handed it over.
"Why?" he asked.
"Oh! I figured since you were so kind as to let me listen to your phone conversation for the last 20 minutes of my life, it's my turn to choose what we watch." Head tilt, sarcastic smile, turn on the spot, and BOOM.

But the kicker? I turned it to MSNBC. (Fox News arch nemesis)

He left and Sassy Gay Friend prevailed again! Oh, despicable me.

If you haven't seen Sassy Gay Friend videos, I got you, start here:

4 comments:

  1. haha...i love you brielle. I wish I was that sassy.

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  2. hahahha you did notttt do that! i love it.

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  3. YESSSS!! hahaha Bri honestly you should go into politics, You'd be amazing!

    ReplyDelete