First off. Look at me. Do I have children?
What about younger siblings? Have I ever nannied, babysat, or spent more than 10 minutes alone with a child???
Do my friends or family members trust me with their children?
SO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!? You want me to keep track of 8 three year olds for TWO HOURS??
Some of it is my fault. When they asked me if I'd be willing to help, I said I'd be happy to.
You may say, "Brielle! Seriously? Stop being weak and ineffectual! They are small and without muscle! You can easily handle this with your impressive stature and physique."
This is how it happens. We start out at singing time with all the older kids. My only responsibility is to make sure they keep their tiny bums in their seats. So easy right?
Watch this GIF for an hour and that is my life.
I now have eyes in the back of the eyes in the back of the head.
After that, we make the trek down the hall to the toy room. I'll assign a child that's behaving well to lead the line reverently. Sometimes they behave beautifully. Most times they behave like a rabid racoon.
Sigh. The next station is 5 minutes of play time. You can imagine.
I'll admit, snack time is entertaining. Little humans are so physically inept.
Unless they reject the food because they hate it even though THEY'VE NEVER TRIED IT EVER.
The worst part is when the little buggers have to go to the bathroom. Most of them are potty trained and very independent. Easy! Until they poop and innocently ask to help them wipe.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME CHILD??
I had to go to my car and cry for a while after that one.
After snacks it's lesson time. MY TIME TO SHINE! I bring props! Make games! Create cool crafts! Hands on activities! But no matter how much I prepare:
At this point I'm fried. It's over.
So I bring out bubbles. Their brains cannot cope with how happy bubbles make them.
Bubbles + one kid= Adorable.
Bubbles + many children= Mob.
Okay before we go into this this next part can we establish something? Small children are not the brightest. Exhibit A, B, and C:
See??! A tiny bit silly, and VERY accident prone. SO PARENTS! Don't evil eye me when your kids run into walls and hurt themselves! You should of taught them about physics before this point. This is your thing.
Can't there just be a thing where all the parents bring puppies for me to watch for 2 hours? I would like that very much.
ALL GIFS AND GIGGLES ASIDE, THIS IS EXAGGERATED. I TRULY LOVE ALL THE LITTLE BOOGERS! They is my crew.