Happy Joy

Hey there superstars! I am in an awesome mood today! I think from here on out, every couple of weeks I am going to do a little list of things that are just delightful and make me happy. Let's start with...

1. My precious baby nieces!

Now, I am pretty horrible with kids. Once, a guy at work brought his newborn into the office and tried to get me to hold her. I was so frightened that I started crying. Yeah, NOT good. But these little ones are some of the few that tolerate me. And that is a happy thing.

2. These pictures:

And on a Harry Potter note (which is always bound to make me happy) JK Rowling's new book comes out this month! Yay for a new obsession!

3. I can figure out most things in the kitchen, but I always screw up the meat. Well, I think it tastes fine, but we have a delicate eater in the house. So Breck accepts duty as meat chef. Today I asked him to prepare some chicken so I could make some chicken enchiladas for dinner. He made me this:

That is true love.

4. We went to the zoo this week! Who doesn't love zoo's??! We were just coming out of the koala exhibit when I heard The Flaming Lips start to play (not normal Zoo music.) We followed the music to a little outdoor auditorium where a crowd was growing. A zoo keeper was singing "Do You Realize" to another zoo keeper. And then...

He dropped to a knee and popped the question! When she said yes, about 200 white doves flew in an arc around them (they were bird trainers so I'm not even exagerating that part.) It was the first surprise engagement I've ever seen and I was so excited. But then debbie downer Breck said it was just a publicity stunt for the zoo and they weren't really getting married. But you know what? I posted this picture to instagram and BAM

The guy that proposed found my picture and thanked me!!! Happiness prevails!

5. Last, but not least, my number one favorite show of all time is having Open Casting one week from today a mere 5 hours from my house. It's fate. That's right my friends, I am going to try out for... SURVIVOR!

Yes it is still on TV and yes it really is my favorite show. If you think that is silly and are tempted to rain on my parade, I have one thing to say to you:

Lazy Sunday

Today was a bittersweet day. I woke up and started the get ready process. Teeth, shower, make-up, curlers in, clothes ironed, breakfast... when something miraculous happened. I took my hot rollers out, and my hair was PERFECT. Guys, this means nothing to you. Girls, this was THE day. The BEST hair day of my entire life.

But as I stood, awed that my hair could do such beautiful things, my husband burst through the door, pushed me out of the way and had a little face to face with the toilet.

Yes, my most fabulous hair day has been spent playing nurse. Good thing my patient is my favorite person in the entire world!

In my efforts to make Breck a little more comfortable, I undertook the ultimate "feel good" trifecta. Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup. Homemade Noodles. Homemade Rolls. It took forever. But it was sooooo so so worth it.

If you want the step by step (which you should) I stole the recipe from the Pioneer Woman here. If you haven't heard of her... jump on the taste bud bandwagon tonight! She is wonderful.

As a side note. My newest addiction that I wish to infect you with is The West Wing. It's an older series, but every episode is overwhelmingly powerful. Definitely worthy of your next TV series binge!

Oh and I read this book:

I give it a full five dimples... ergo you should read it too.

***There you go Ginnie! I hope it makes you do this:

Thing 1 and Thing 2

I have two really BIG problems in my life:

1. Democrats
2. Republicans

I have never been into politics because, even from a distance, I could see it for what it is. Two groups of people chasing each other around a tree instead of helping each other reach the top and get a better view on how to better help the country. But because my husband is into politics, I get about 3 hours (both left and right) of political immersion EVERY DAY.

You want to know the facts? I have them.

Mitt Romney is a great guy.
Barak Obama is also a great guy.

Neither one of them is trying to make a personal attack on you or your family or your homes. So stop claiming that you HATE them or that they are stupid. You sound like an idiot.

Also show some freaking RESPECT. Have you ever been the president? I would not imagine it's particularly easy. Imagine how hard it must be to get ONE thing done with half of America pitted against you and Congress filibustering over and and over. Whether or not you like his policies, Barak Obama is the PRESIDENT. He spends all day everyday trying to find a way to help people in this country that are hurting. Whether or not YOU agree with how he's doing it, respect that he is trying his best.

You know what I am going to do? Three things.

1. I am going to wait to decide who I am voting for until Romney and Obama can get in the same room and debate the REAL issues. Not dogs on roofs or birth certificates.

2. I am going to challenge the facts. Just because someone is on TV or published in a newspaper, does not mean that they are incapable of lying. Seriously, only google tells the truth these days.

3. I am going to pray that WHOEVER wins the election, whether it's who I vote for or not, that they and their staff are able to help this country succeed. I am going to pray that our government can get thier crap together and stop putting their prejudices ahead of the needs of the American people.

P.S. You know those political meme's? A 7-year old could make them. Stop posting them on Facebook, you ignorant slut ;)

Things That Weird Me Out

Today, Breck and I were driving in the truck, jamming out to some old tunes.

"Apologize" by OneRepublic came on.
Breck said, "I like this song! It was one of the first songs I heard when I got back from my mission."

"Oh." says me, "This was my MySpace song..."

Yay for age not really mattering after 21!

East Coast Girls Are Also Cool

What a week! I will sum it up with this: Our stress levels equal this much ice cream.

(Yes that is our fridge, no we are not having an Ice Cream party.)

Anyway, amidst my passionate rant at the KSL lady, I forgot to give the proper highlight to our awesome Ellsworth family reunion.

We did A LOT. But how many times can you look at the same couple posing in front of various landscapes and monuments and still be entertained? Those pictures are all on facebook if you want them, but here are some of the stories:

Sure we went to parks and beaches, national memorials and museums... but better than that, we went to Intercourse, PA, aka AMISH COUNTRY.
It was nuts. No power lines, more horses on the streets than cars, and a group of Mormons were the most scandalously dressed people in sight. It was beautiful

And the Grandmas there ride scooter bikes. I'd like GM to come up with a hybrid as gas efficient as that.

One day we went to the beach. Well, not just any beach... we went to Jersey Shore. (If you do not know why that is significant, I like you even more.) Breck is not a big fan of beach swimming (He hid that fact until AFTER we were married) so we decided to stroll up the board walk to find a crab shack.

Atlantic City sure looked a lot closer than it was. After an hour of walking and not finding anything. We jumped in a car with my brother and his wife and started what I like to call, "The Crappy Crab Adventure." Essentially, my brother and his wife (who doesn't even like seafood) were kind enough to drive us around for 2 hours looking for a place to eat. One restaurant had been struck my lightning, one turned out to not even be a seafood place... you get the picture. But when we FINALLY got our plate of delicious crustacean delights... we were happy as clams.

In Philadelphia, we got to run up the "Rocky Steps." See here:


We felt pretty cool

And so did this guy...

One of my favorite days was spent exploring the Mall at Washington DC. It's not a mall full of teenagers and men that smell better than me. It's a Mall of WONDERS.

It may not have had a Genie in a Lamp... but it DID have Harry Potter's 1st year school robes. Which is magic enough for me.

Eventually we had to say our goodbyes and fly home. Of course, even that was an adventure. Like when I announced to everyone sitting in coach that Brody Jenner was sleeping in first class. It was actually just a guy wearing a bedazzled shirt and jeans meant for Christina Aguilera. He also had a cane, which redeems him a tiny bit. You know, the Bruce Wayne factor.

Also, our bag was left behind when we switched flights, so we had to wait at the DFW airport for an extra 3 hours. Joy! They let us back in the terminal for dinner, meaning we had to go back through security. I was collecting my stuff on the other side when the TSA officer told me that I had a hair pin in my shoe. He was right

And THAT is where all your bobby pins go.

We eventually got our suitcase. And lived happily ever after.

New Blog Name

Do you get it? Plano and Plain ol'??? Please say you get it because amidst moving and transferring jobs and family reunions with screaming babies, my number one stress has been the name of this blog.

Plus, my cartoon self looks awesome dressed like Daisy Duke, something my real self could never pull off.

Anyway, today's post is all about how I can be a huge b-word. I get away with a lot because of my effective use of "bless her heart" and my dimple size. Oh... you didn't realize dimples allowed you to be a monster? Please refer to Graph A:

It's true, you can ask anyone from the unofficial dimple club:

If you remember, a few weeks ago I was trying to sell my couch. As the moving date approached, I put the couch on KSL (Utah's Craigslist) with the following stipulation:

MUST SELL THIS WEEK (JULY 7-14)

Since then, we have moved to Plano, and traveled to Houston, Arkansas, Cincinnati, Harrisburg, Hershey, Philadelphia, Atlantic City, Richmond, Washington DC and Atlanta, all with little to no internet access.

Any straggling emails I got about the couch I ignored because:
1. I was extremely busy and not paying attention.
2. THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE DO ON KSL.

On Saturday, in between flights home, I got a call from an unknown number. They didn't leave a message so (LIKE A NORMAL PERSON) I didn't worry about it.

But this morning, I got this email:
Hi. I called u Saturday and never got a call back. I even emailed u over a week ago. I think I've been super patient and I want a reply today because you are wasting my time and being disrespectful. Is the gray couch still available or not? If not, u need to take it down immediately so that myself and others on KSL won't be misled. If u r going to put something up on here than u need 2 B responsible for keeping up with it. You seem unprofessional. I will report ur ad if I don't hear back today. Fair warning. Francie

Ummmm what?? Has this girl never been on KSL? It's not exactly stock market trading. I imagine she's the kind of person that sends these texts after a first date:

It (sadly) goes on... but you get the idea.

Anyway. This was my (very unchristian) reply: (MOM DO NOT READ THIS!)

Hi Francie
I am so sorry to keep you waiting. My mom passed away unexpectedly last week and I've had trouble keeping up. I can't believe I didn't think to take down my KSL account! Foolish me! Things are in such disarray, I hope you can understand.

Now Francie, if this would of really happened, wouldn't you feel pretty silly right now? Contrary to your belief, I am not a store clerk at Pottery Barn and I have no "responsibility" to reply to your every beck and call.

And no you cannot have my couch. I am discriminating against your superiority complex. And your poor grammar. You and the KSL police can (explicit).

Hugs and Kisses, Brielle

Oh despicable me.

Fat Girl

Two posts in two days? What??? Yes it is true. Obviously, my husband is not home.

As many of you have now realized... I moved! We love our new apartment in Plano! It does not smell like 40 year old death musk and the people 3 floors down are very alive. Freedom!

If none of that makes sense to you, perhaps you should read here

I was down in Houston this past week on work. Overall it was a successful and fulfilling trip... but no one wants to hear those kinds of stories. So, this is the story of how my famed luck failed me.

After braving a vicious thunderstorm and having my GPS give out on the bad side of town, I stumbled into my hotel later than I had intended. I had already booked a room, so I wasn't afraid of not having a place to sleep, but there is a certain hour that girls who are traveling alone need to avoid. I introduced myself to the concierge was greeted warmly (and with a cookie!) but told that the place was full and the only room available was a smoking room. Blech. He assured me it wouldn't be as bad as I thought and the next night the would move me to another room.

I rode up to the top floor, heaved my my duffel, backpack, pillow, and cooler to the end of a hall and stuck in my key card. Red light. I stuck it in again. Red light. Slower this time. Red Light. Faster. RED.

Completely exhausted, I dragged myself and my unwieldy belongings back to the front desk, waited in line again, had my cards remade, and returned to wait for the elevator again. Enter creep. Why is it that every greasy looking guy MUST fufill the stereotype of sleazy whoremonger? Does a wedding ring mean nothing??? He thought he was so clever asking why I would bring a pillow to hotel and asking if I had the rest of my bedset in my duffel. HAVE YOU NEVER WATCHED CSI? Who knows what happens in hotel rooms??! I don't want the creepy glow in the dark liquid in my hair, thank you VERY much.

I finally get to the room and BAM, I hit a wall of smoke as I came through the door. Grrrrrreat.

The first time I wrote this, it went a little long. So let me sum it up... by the end of my three day stay, I had missing possessions, a group of creeps who literally sat outside the gym and watched me workout, and was still in the smokey room.

As a side note to my husband not being home, I decided today that if I hadn't married before I finished college, I would be morbidly obese. Breck and I parted for the first time since we've tied the knot and my day went like this:

4:55 AM: Woke up on the couch in yesterdays clothes. Adjusted and went back to sleep.
9:50 AM: Woke up.
10:00 AM: Ice cream. Lots of ice cream.
10:10 AM - 1:00 PM: Pinterest.
1:10 PM: Ate queso and chips then returned to couch.
1:20 - 6:00 PM: Continued to sit on couch.
6:10 PM: More chips and queso.

I eventually got around to unpacking (from Houston), cleaning, and re-packing (for Arkansas) but the lure of the couch and queso is still very real.