Pet Peeves

DISCLAIMER: This list was collected over a series of many months. I do not keep this kind of rage with me at all times.

Urban Dictionary sums it up pretty well:

Mine: 

1. People who use the hashtag #my_____isbetterthanyours. 

Honestly, I think this is just terribly impolite. In one fell swoop, you are telling all of your friends that you think you are better/richer/prettier/luckier than they are. Who does that?  Or those people that put a significant other in that space, for example #myhusbandisbetterthanyours. You do realize that literally no one agrees with you right? 

2. Girls who laugh at guys... when nothing they are saying is funny. 

I thought I might get over this one after leaving the dating scene. Nope.

How you think it must look:

How I see it:

3.  When you post something to Facebook and then a friend posts the exact same thing moments later... without a nod in your direction. Oh really? You found the exact same video within moments of me? Fat chance because YOUTUBE IS BIGGER THAN THE UNIVERSE. GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE PEOPLE! 

(I know this one is petty, I do. But when your only skill is discovering the cool stuff other people do, you have to hold on to something.)

4. All the apps that encourage people to put text over their pictures. WHY SO MANY FONTS?? WHY?? Hint: If you can't see the picture anymore, you've gone too far. 

5. TRAFFIC. So so so many things. 

I did not leave 5 feet between me and they guy ahead of me as an invitation for you to cut in.  

I did not sit in stand still traffic just to have you use the exit only lane to cut line. 

I do not want to come to a complete stop because you need twenty years to turn right.

I will keep on pretending you are taking your pregnant wife to the hospital so I don't follow you home and crash into your living room. 

6. Over celebrating anniversaries. It's cool to celebrate every year, but ever 6 months? And the day of your first date? And they day he proposed? Oh it's been x amount of days since your wedding?

But really...

STOP! If you want your husband to know how happy you are together TELL HIM NOT ME. The world only has room for one Leslie Knope.

7. When people say a book is stupid... and they've never even read it. 

Look, if you find yourself reading this list and saying to yourself, "Wait, I do this!" Don't worry, it's not like you're a bad person. 

But...

What do you think? Did I miss any big ones? 

How Netflix is Like Being in a Relationship

More and more I realize that having a subscription to Netflix is like being back on the dating scene.

1.  There is that first stage, the hunt. So many options, but so few that will fill your needs.

You dig through the trenches trying to find "the one" but quickly realize this is not going to be a fairy tale ending.

2. You get experimental and try out an episode here or there. Maybe you were judging too harshly on appearances?

Nope, you were right to stay away. 

End things and move on.

3. Here is were you get a little desperate. You take pity on a show that is not really your type. 

Yes, there are some red flags. 

But you ignore them because you can tell how hard it wants to make you happy.

Things are okay for a while. But small things accumulate, and there comes a breaking point when you realize...

In the end you just become resentful.

The bond disintegrates. If your honest with yourself, it's a relief.

4. But then, when you think all is lost, you find it.

Oh, you know that feeling.

The show you want to be with forever.

Although the world continues at the same pace, time slows for you. You find it hard to concentrate on anything else.

You begin to lose friends due to your intense relationship. 

You spring awake in the morning knowing that you can get half an episode in before work.

And every stolen moment shared together makes you giddy. 

5. But then it happens. You go to press the "next episode" button and it is NOT THERE.

No. Not this. Why did it have to end like this? WHY??

You cease to function. So alone. So empty. 

You try to fill the hole by trying out other shows, but this is a pain that can't be fixed by a rebound. 

You'll scroll by and think:

But just like any true love. You know that time, distance, or heaven help us, a show canceling, will not suppress your feelings. 

All in all, it has got to be said, Netflix-

Also, while we are on the subject, I need a new show! 

Here is a list of current Netflix shows I've completed:

24
30 Rock
Arrested Development
Batman Beyond
Bones
Breaking Bad
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dawson's Creek
Derek
Dexter
Don't Trust the B in Apt. 23
Friday Night Lights
Gossip Girl
Greek
Heroes
House of Cards
Keeping Up
The Killing
Lost
Mad Men
Parenthood
Parks and Recreation
Prison Break
The O.C.
One Tree Hill
Revenge
Scandal
Sherlock
Vampire Diaries
The Walking Dead
The West Wing
White Collar
Wilfred

Here are shows I've watched but not made it through a whole season (Any of them worth a second try?)

90210
Desperate Housewives
Drop Dead Diva
Glee
Grey's Anatomy
Hart of Dixie
Lie to Me
Once
Pretty Little Liars

Yes I am a little embarrassed about how long that list is.

Happy Joy 5

Today I am thrilled about:

1. My dad was making fun of me for a selfie I posted on Instagram yesterday (#shame)... but I was quick enough to get a screen shot of his impression!

Priceless.

2. We went to an AWESOME Halloween party this weekend. Our host just posted about it and you need to check it out here! 

Oh, you're thinking about passing up that link? Don't you dare. It was serious business. I walked into the guest bathroom... and the tub was full of blood and body parts. 

This it the first year since high school that I've put effort into my costume and I was pretty happy with the turn out! Breck went as a birthday boy and I was "a piece of cake."

Best part? My costume cost less than $10! Just foam board, streamers and some ribbon to pull it together! 

3. Allegiant came out! And Ender's Game is coming out in less than a month! And JK Rowling is working on an addition to the Harry Potter franchise! And SURVIVOR IS SO AWESOME THIS SEASON! Pretty much I am fan girling about everything all the time.

4. Breck sent me this text:

Women: Get yourself a good man.

Men: Send this type of thing to your to your woman. Because after I was done treating myself, I was so happy with him I went and him some shoes I know he's had his eye on. Win win.

P.S. That Barnes and Noble suggestions? Swoon... he knows me so well!

5. It's FALL! Which mean's CHRISTMAS IS COMING! Have you noticed I'm getting excited?

Are you ready for this???

 

The Christmas music is coming... and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!