Last night we got a call. At 2:49 in the freaking morning.
Proof:
Normally I would be okay with it. That's because normally the person would be calling to let us know someone died and I'd be able to think to myself, "It could be worse, you could be dead."
But last night, it was a lady asking about the Mortuary address. Who decides that 2:49AM is a a good time to call for directions??? And more importantly, who hasn't heard about Google maps yet?
I'll pretend it's someone as lovable as these two...
___________________________________________________________
It's Mom's day weekend! Sadly, mi madre is all the way in Texas and I wont be able to give her all the hugs and kisses she deserves this Sunday. So to make her feel a little closer, I am making her recipes all weekend! Tonight I had one of my favorite comfort foods, Jambalaya. To her credit (I was on the phone with her the entire time) it turned out pretty dang delicious:
And of course we needed some O-Henry bars
Today, I admit, I am hallway girl.
___________________________________________________________
In other news I have a pretty neat website for all you Pinterest people. Check out this blog http://abeautifulmess.typepad.com/. This chick is nuts creative.
She teaches you how to make crafts:
and party treats:
Dress pretty:
and organize your trendy home:
In short, I have a total girl crush on her and you should too!
Entertainment: 4 dimples
Usefulness: 9 dimples
User Friendly: 7 dimples
5.11.2012
5.08.2012
Day 16: Fakeover
Since moving into this apartment, my time allotment for aimless internet surfing has sky rocketed.
So as I find awesome internet sites, I'll pass them on to you. For my first entry, let me introduce http://www.ivillage.com/virtual-makeover# It's like an interactive Princess Diaries. It lets you do things like this...
And then there is a "One-click" button that let's you steal the looks of celebrities like Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and Zoe DeChanel. The result is a bit frightening.
Yikes.
Entertainment: 8 dimples
Usefulness: 5 dimples
User Friendly: 7 dimples
Allow 45 minutes for full enjoyment.
So as I find awesome internet sites, I'll pass them on to you. For my first entry, let me introduce http://www.ivillage.com/virtual-makeover# It's like an interactive Princess Diaries. It lets you do things like this...
And then there is a "One-click" button that let's you steal the looks of celebrities like Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and Zoe DeChanel. The result is a bit frightening.
Yikes.
Entertainment: 8 dimples
Usefulness: 5 dimples
User Friendly: 7 dimples
Allow 45 minutes for full enjoyment.
5.07.2012
Day 15: Graduation & Miracles
If you know me, you know I am uncannily lucky. It's just a fact. My mom calls it "blessed," but if I'm being honest, it's definitely not that. In fact, it's often when I've been my worst, pig-headed self that something awesome happens. Like that one time that I snagged second-row seats to a Justin Bieber concert after a few white lies and a large serving of dimples.
(That brunette woman is Justin's mom, Pattie. Great lady.)
This leads me to graduation day. I don't know about you, but after sitting under a spotlight for two hours in a polyester gown and a hat that cuts off circulation to the brain, I am not in the best mood. I'm not in the mood to fake being in a good mood, either. So when my sweet grandma asked for pictures, I said "No you old coot!"
No I didn't really. I love grandma. But I did refuse her. I insisted that if she gave me a week, I would dress up again and take all the quintessential pictures when the BYU "landmarks" were less crowded.
And that is why the next Saturday morning, I was running around the Marriott Center looking like the Grad that came to graduation a week late. As my mom and I crossed the street to the famous "Enter to Learn" sign, a lady in a purple minivan poked her head out the window and yelled, "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT GOWN!!?" Now, I was in some lofty heels, halfway across a busy-ish intersection and the light has just turned green again, AKA not too concerned by the minivan-lady yelling at me, and not inclined to answer.
We made it across the street and I saddled up to the sign and started doing the Hecht-lean while mom snapped a few shots.
But the purple minivan-lady, not be vanquished, slid back around the corner and rolled down her window. "Hey! You know I swear I'm not crazy, but I have been searching for a graduation gown for the past three weeks!" She explained. "I've been to Savers, DI, UVU, and called BYU, but no one has been any help!"
She went on to tell us that one of her friends, a struggling-single mother of 3, had just graduated after putting herself through school. She didn't want to walk the stage or be recognized, but her friends had put together a party for her that very afternoon. They wanted so badly to have a picture of her and her children with a cap and gown, so that she would could look back and really realize the amazing things she had accomplished. However, despite all their efforts, they had not been able to find a gown in time. Until, two hours before the party, she saw me hobbling across University Parkway.
I stripped the cap and gown and handed them over with her promise that she would bring them over after the party.
Later that day I met the woman in my parking lot, the cap and gown in her hands. She thanked me profusely (and with a plate of brownies) and told me how much it had meant to her friend and her family. It was a warm-fuzzy moment when she wrapped me up in a bear hug and whispered that it had been an answer to her prayers.
Life lesson? Stubbornness with grandma = free brownies.
In other news, we got our first really hard call the other night. A young man called to tell us that his wife would be arriving with their stillborn child next Tuesday. Even now I can feel the sting of tears that I felt when I heard Breck say, "And what was your sons name?" When he didn't ask for the age of the baby, I knew what had happened. We are instructed never to say "I'm sorry" to anyone that calls because apparently it seems insincere coming from us, but in a situation like that, it is so hard to hold back. Every call we get, it's hard not to put ourselves in the situation and the "What if's" really keep you up at night. The best comfort is to remember that when we are done on this earth, it is not the close. Death is an event, not an ending.
(That brunette woman is Justin's mom, Pattie. Great lady.)
This leads me to graduation day. I don't know about you, but after sitting under a spotlight for two hours in a polyester gown and a hat that cuts off circulation to the brain, I am not in the best mood. I'm not in the mood to fake being in a good mood, either. So when my sweet grandma asked for pictures, I said "No you old coot!"
No I didn't really. I love grandma. But I did refuse her. I insisted that if she gave me a week, I would dress up again and take all the quintessential pictures when the BYU "landmarks" were less crowded.
And that is why the next Saturday morning, I was running around the Marriott Center looking like the Grad that came to graduation a week late. As my mom and I crossed the street to the famous "Enter to Learn" sign, a lady in a purple minivan poked her head out the window and yelled, "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT GOWN!!?" Now, I was in some lofty heels, halfway across a busy-ish intersection and the light has just turned green again, AKA not too concerned by the minivan-lady yelling at me, and not inclined to answer.
We made it across the street and I saddled up to the sign and started doing the Hecht-lean while mom snapped a few shots.
But the purple minivan-lady, not be vanquished, slid back around the corner and rolled down her window. "Hey! You know I swear I'm not crazy, but I have been searching for a graduation gown for the past three weeks!" She explained. "I've been to Savers, DI, UVU, and called BYU, but no one has been any help!"
She went on to tell us that one of her friends, a struggling-single mother of 3, had just graduated after putting herself through school. She didn't want to walk the stage or be recognized, but her friends had put together a party for her that very afternoon. They wanted so badly to have a picture of her and her children with a cap and gown, so that she would could look back and really realize the amazing things she had accomplished. However, despite all their efforts, they had not been able to find a gown in time. Until, two hours before the party, she saw me hobbling across University Parkway.
I stripped the cap and gown and handed them over with her promise that she would bring them over after the party.
Later that day I met the woman in my parking lot, the cap and gown in her hands. She thanked me profusely (and with a plate of brownies) and told me how much it had meant to her friend and her family. It was a warm-fuzzy moment when she wrapped me up in a bear hug and whispered that it had been an answer to her prayers.
Life lesson? Stubbornness with grandma = free brownies.
In other news, we got our first really hard call the other night. A young man called to tell us that his wife would be arriving with their stillborn child next Tuesday. Even now I can feel the sting of tears that I felt when I heard Breck say, "And what was your sons name?" When he didn't ask for the age of the baby, I knew what had happened. We are instructed never to say "I'm sorry" to anyone that calls because apparently it seems insincere coming from us, but in a situation like that, it is so hard to hold back. Every call we get, it's hard not to put ourselves in the situation and the "What if's" really keep you up at night. The best comfort is to remember that when we are done on this earth, it is not the close. Death is an event, not an ending.
5.06.2012
Day 11-14: Introductions
Today was the first day in our new church ward. It went something like this:
Relief Society President:
Me:
Audience Reaction:
I need to find a better way to do this.
Relief Society President:
Me:
Audience Reaction:
I need to find a better way to do this.
5.02.2012
Day 10: Tour
So I heard it through the grapevine that some of my extended family members heard about my new home and thought that I had... changed.
So, I thought I'd put up a few pictures so people don't get the wrong idea! We are still working on decor, but here is what we have so far!
Berg Mortuary, we live in the apartment behind those top windows.
The light at the end of the tunnel.
The living room area. Yes I skipped the kitchen, my dishwasher (Breck) hasn't been working.
Our new couch! My pillow covers are one their way from Etsy, I can't wait!
Our bed nook, it has a great view of the sunrise.
His/Her Closets.
Breakfast area. Tulips compliments of the cutest mom ever.
Our bathroom. Bleh.
The bathroom on the uninhabited floor below us. I think that tub and I will become very close. As long as the Air Conditioning man doesn't make a repeat appearance.
So there! It's no palace, but I don't sleep in a casket and my storage cabinets aren't full of embalming fluid. That's like a good three floors down ;)
So, I thought I'd put up a few pictures so people don't get the wrong idea! We are still working on decor, but here is what we have so far!
Berg Mortuary, we live in the apartment behind those top windows.
The light at the end of the tunnel.
The living room area. Yes I skipped the kitchen, my dishwasher (Breck) hasn't been working.
Our new couch! My pillow covers are one their way from Etsy, I can't wait!
Our bed nook, it has a great view of the sunrise.
His/Her Closets.
Breakfast area. Tulips compliments of the cutest mom ever.
Our bathroom. Bleh.
The bathroom on the uninhabited floor below us. I think that tub and I will become very close. As long as the Air Conditioning man doesn't make a repeat appearance.
So there! It's no palace, but I don't sleep in a casket and my storage cabinets aren't full of embalming fluid. That's like a good three floors down ;)
Day 7-9: Cash Money
I promised pictures but my camera cord hasn't come in from Amazon yet. As an apology, please visit my favorite website of all time and bask in its addictive hilarity.
This post is all business. I've mentioned before that we can hire babysitters, and we are ready to get that process started. So, before you uninterested people stop reading, take a second and think about anybody in the Provo area that could use some extra money, bless their heart. If you know of anyone, send them my way!
Here is the job description:
A few times a month you will be asked to house sit. You can watch TV, do your laundry, play video games, do your homework, make-out with a pretty lady, raid our fridge, throw a party, use our netflix and our internet. There is no baby to feed, no animal to clean up after, and no plant to water. The only catch is the phone. If it rings you have to answer it. The end. Pay will be determined by length of stay.
Personally, I think it's an awesome way to make some extra money.
We will probably hire a few of people that can fill different days according to their schedules. We will also need to have one steady individual that can watch the place from 9-12 every Sunday so we can attend church. Also, we would love to have someone (or a couple) that would be willing to stay over night if we decide to take a vacation. If you are interested in any of these positions or have more questions, please email me at briellsworth@gmail.com.
This post is all business. I've mentioned before that we can hire babysitters, and we are ready to get that process started. So, before you uninterested people stop reading, take a second and think about anybody in the Provo area that could use some extra money, bless their heart. If you know of anyone, send them my way!
Here is the job description:
A few times a month you will be asked to house sit. You can watch TV, do your laundry, play video games, do your homework, make-out with a pretty lady, raid our fridge, throw a party, use our netflix and our internet. There is no baby to feed, no animal to clean up after, and no plant to water. The only catch is the phone. If it rings you have to answer it. The end. Pay will be determined by length of stay.
Personally, I think it's an awesome way to make some extra money.
We will probably hire a few of people that can fill different days according to their schedules. We will also need to have one steady individual that can watch the place from 9-12 every Sunday so we can attend church. Also, we would love to have someone (or a couple) that would be willing to stay over night if we decide to take a vacation. If you are interested in any of these positions or have more questions, please email me at briellsworth@gmail.com.
4.29.2012
Days 1-6: Naked
So we finally moved in to the mortuary!
Bright and early Monday morning we began to carry 9 truck loads of our belongs up 4 flights of stairs. My mom had been in town for my graduation and volunteered to stay and help us settle in, but even with the extra hands it was exhausting work. By the time we finished the last haul, we were all dead (hehe).
After a short break, I was nominated as the smelliest and got the first shower while my mom went with Breck to purchase our new couch. Now, after 5 o'clock, we are supposed to be the only (living) people in the mortuary, so I didn't think to lock the front door. And, feeling pretty comfortable in my own home, I didn't close the bathroom door when I hopped in the shower to lather up.
I didn't elaborate in my first post, so let me take a second and explain our position. We are live in stewards of the Berg Mortuary. We live in the upstairs apartment and don't pay for rent or utilities and get an additional stipend each month. The catch is that we have to be home whenever the funeral directors leave for the night. That means we have to be at home from 5PM-8AM everyday for the next year. Yikes, I know. But the duties are pretty simple; we answer the phones and the doorbell if they ring. Plus we can hire babysitters to take our place, and still go on dates and adventures. If you were given the opportunity as a newly wed couple, what would you do?
Anways so I am in the shower, 100% soaked and bubbly, when DINGDONG the doorbell rings.
Crap.
Thinking I can make it downstairs if I hurry, I turn off the shower, swing open the door, fling my wet hair over to grab my towel, and when I straighten up, I see a strange man standing about 10 feet away from me in my living room. I freeze for half a second, and then quietly shut the shower door and fold down into a fetal position. My stream of consciousness went something like this:
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. OMG. Okay calm down, maybe he didn't hear you. Of course he heard you you idiot, you're in a huge, quiet, dead-person house and you sing like a banshee in the shower. Well maybe he just wants to take the TV. Maybe he will just steal everything and leave you alone. Nope. You just flashed him. He's going to kill you. You are about to die. And people are going to find your naked body by the toilet. You should of lost a few more pounds. Why don't you keep knives in the shower?
I hear the front door slam.
Still cautious, I peek out the door, but he was no where in sight. I throw some clothes out and run for my phone. Nothing seems to be stolen but I'm panicking and want Breck home immediately. I'm still not completely sure what is going on and I don't want to make too big of a deal out of it, so when Breck picks up I retell the tale more as if it was a funny story. He didn't think it was so funny.
So with him on his way home I sit on a pile of our moving boxes to breathe for a second. Nothing happened, I'm good. Until I hear a pair of footsteps pounding up the stairs and realize I still haven't locked the door.
I only have time to stand up and back away from the door before the same man comes bursting in through my doorway. And that's when I see the uniform.
It's the air conditioning guy.
He quickly apologized and said that he had knocked just a few minutes before but no one had been home. I decided to let him keep thinking that, and told him to go ahead and finish what he had been working on. It was clear that he really hadn't heard me in the shower and had no idea that I had been there the entire time. Whew.
But then my very angry husband got home.
Let's just say it was a eventful first day in the new place! Pictures will be in the next post! Also, as a fair warning, we hear about some pretty sad things working here. I will probably post some of them just to get it off my chest, but I'll keep them at the end so you can skip that part if you prefer! Stay tuned!
After a short break, I was nominated as the smelliest and got the first shower while my mom went with Breck to purchase our new couch. Now, after 5 o'clock, we are supposed to be the only (living) people in the mortuary, so I didn't think to lock the front door. And, feeling pretty comfortable in my own home, I didn't close the bathroom door when I hopped in the shower to lather up.
I didn't elaborate in my first post, so let me take a second and explain our position. We are live in stewards of the Berg Mortuary. We live in the upstairs apartment and don't pay for rent or utilities and get an additional stipend each month. The catch is that we have to be home whenever the funeral directors leave for the night. That means we have to be at home from 5PM-8AM everyday for the next year. Yikes, I know. But the duties are pretty simple; we answer the phones and the doorbell if they ring. Plus we can hire babysitters to take our place, and still go on dates and adventures. If you were given the opportunity as a newly wed couple, what would you do?
Anways so I am in the shower, 100% soaked and bubbly, when DINGDONG the doorbell rings.
Crap.
Thinking I can make it downstairs if I hurry, I turn off the shower, swing open the door, fling my wet hair over to grab my towel, and when I straighten up, I see a strange man standing about 10 feet away from me in my living room. I freeze for half a second, and then quietly shut the shower door and fold down into a fetal position. My stream of consciousness went something like this:
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. OMG. Okay calm down, maybe he didn't hear you. Of course he heard you you idiot, you're in a huge, quiet, dead-person house and you sing like a banshee in the shower. Well maybe he just wants to take the TV. Maybe he will just steal everything and leave you alone. Nope. You just flashed him. He's going to kill you. You are about to die. And people are going to find your naked body by the toilet. You should of lost a few more pounds. Why don't you keep knives in the shower?
I hear the front door slam.
Still cautious, I peek out the door, but he was no where in sight. I throw some clothes out and run for my phone. Nothing seems to be stolen but I'm panicking and want Breck home immediately. I'm still not completely sure what is going on and I don't want to make too big of a deal out of it, so when Breck picks up I retell the tale more as if it was a funny story. He didn't think it was so funny.
So with him on his way home I sit on a pile of our moving boxes to breathe for a second. Nothing happened, I'm good. Until I hear a pair of footsteps pounding up the stairs and realize I still haven't locked the door.
I only have time to stand up and back away from the door before the same man comes bursting in through my doorway. And that's when I see the uniform.
It's the air conditioning guy.
He quickly apologized and said that he had knocked just a few minutes before but no one had been home. I decided to let him keep thinking that, and told him to go ahead and finish what he had been working on. It was clear that he really hadn't heard me in the shower and had no idea that I had been there the entire time. Whew.
But then my very angry husband got home.
Let's just say it was a eventful first day in the new place! Pictures will be in the next post! Also, as a fair warning, we hear about some pretty sad things working here. I will probably post some of them just to get it off my chest, but I'll keep them at the end so you can skip that part if you prefer! Stay tuned!
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