5.24.2013

And the Winner is...

Thanks so much for all your support! Without much ado, the winner is:

In all fairness, I did pick my moms name first but we both agreed it would be better if it went outside the family. But congrats! Mandy, you can email me at briellestory@gmail.com when you get a moment! 

Everyone else:

Consolation story: 
I am the activity days leader for my church. This means every other Wednesday I lead activities for all the girls 8-12. A.K.A Church appointed babysitter. 

Last week we went on a nature hike.

Me: Alright! Before we leave does anyone need to use the restroom?

So we all go to the bathroom:

Anyway, the girls are filing into the the stalls when one of them stops, turns and gives me one of these:

She motions me over and I peek in. It's total destruction. What happened to create this???

I can't even say it. Help me out Neil? 

Anyway, the little barbarians gather around to gawk and  I'm trying to get them focused on the real objective when the littlest one starts laughing hysterically. 

Her: (Between gasps) It's a prank! 

Quizzical looks.

Her: Look, someone but purple koolaid in the toilet! 

We look. 

Definitely not purple koolaid.  

Choice:
a) Introduce young girls to their awful and eminent future
b) Say it's koolaid. 

Always choose b. Period. 


5.18.2013

Custom Shoe Giveaway


If I pinky promise to only do this once will you forgive my shameless self promotion? I swear I will never mention this again so just hold it in for a quick second.

I opened an Etsy shop.

I know it's cliche! Stop it, I'm already embarrassed. 

In this said shop, I sell those custom painted shoes that I do sometimes.


So here is the deal.  I will make someone a pair of these for free. They can have anything you dream on them, sports teams, lyrics, the power rangers, whatever floats your fancy.  

If you would like to be entered to win a pair you can do these things. 

1. Share this blog post on Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest
2. Favorite one of the shoes on my Etsy account 
3. Bring me cake

Each thing you do will get you entered an additional time. Seeing as I have a mere 41 followers... the chance of winning is pretty dang probable. 


Comment below to let me know what you've done and I'll announce the winner Friday, May 18.

Thanks :) Now try to rip your eyes away:

5.17.2013

My Not So Perfect Life

Social Media. It's kind of like looking at the world through rose colored glasses yeah? If you only knew me through Facebook or Instagram you might think life is rainbows and unicorns.

Sometimes, it is:
And sometimes it's not:

So today, instead of glossing over the bad parts in hopes of appearing like I have it all together all the time, here are some of the worst parts of being me. 

1. FP. Let's be honest guys, my fat potential is off the charts. If I look at a piece of cheesecake for too long I gain 5 pounds. It's a daily struggle:


I try so hard. But then my arch nemesis/best friend chocolate waves at me from the check out line and I can't help it. Just a little bit right?


No. All of the chocolates. 

My inevitable future:


2. True story: Minutes after asking me to marry him, Breck called his best friend Karl to tell him the good news. Quoting him, "Yeah as long as she shaves her legs everyday it should be great."

I have hairy legs. All the time. I take a shower, I shave my legs, I get goosebumps and by the time my shower is over, I have spikes.

It's like each follicle has a hoard of hairs just waiting to surface:

Breck is not a fan:


Whatever, fur is fashionable


Now you may be wondering:

Don't worry, it gets worse.

3. You've heard the term hangry?

Most people when they are hangry:


Extreme cases of hangry:


Me when I'm hangry:


It is not pleasant. But when I'm hungry I can't think of anything but the quickest way to eat. Survival is very much a part of me. Plus:  


This is America people!

4. Have I told you about that one time some one put a baby in my arms and I started crying I was so scared? Trust me, your evil cat is better with kids than I am.

I live in fear of parents ripping children out of my hands with a scathing look and telling me I'm not supporting their head properly. Geez! I'm the youngest! I don't know what to do with my hands!

And comforting a crying a baby? Hopeless:


I might as well give up and embrace my true tendencies:

5. Road rage. So much road rage.
Timeline of events. I see a back up:

And even if it's the best day of my life:

Things change quickly:

WHY COULD WE POSSIBLY BE GOING SO SLOWLY???


I even start to hate the people that got in accidents that cause the traffic. There are lines! Can you not stay in the lines????


And people that take a year and a half to turn right????


Oh you're going to cut me off after speeding down a lane that you know is going to merge?? I WILL follow you home. 


It's only a matter of time...

But serenity now, to err is human.

P.S. I hope you like me despite all this. Otherwise...

5.12.2013

Mother's Day

Do you remember 1989 for the Ellsworth family? I think Glen's face pretty much says it all:

 Good thing 1990 rolled around. Ah there! Much better!

Mom, how can I sum it up? Whenever we visit San Antonio and Breck looks at you and whispers, "Ah, so that's where you picked that up." I can't tell you the pride I feel that I get to keep a bit of you with me. Thank you for daily caring for me and the people I love most in this world. Thank you for Brant, for Steve, and for Glen, they are so wonderful! Thank you for my life, and the tender way you've pushed me to have the highest expectations for myself. You are a light. You are my beacon. 

From then:

Until now:

Mom, I love you. If we could of picked moms, I would of picked you always. 

Happy Mother's Day, beautiful.

5.10.2013

My Leading Man

True story:

Yesterday I texted Breck:
Ugh, I have the worst cramps :(

On the coffee table when I came home:
That would be sweats and chocolate. 

Husband level: Expert

Today Breck texted me:
I'm transforming this in to a delicious meal for you! 

 And I came home to:

Husband level: Legendary

Marrying Breck was like I walking into a chick flick.



Or, more accurately: 


Anyway... they exist :)