8.28.2012

Thing 1 and Thing 2

I have two really BIG problems in my life:

1. Democrats
2. Republicans

I have never been into politics because, even from a distance, I could see it for what it is. Two groups of people chasing each other around a tree instead of helping each other reach the top and get a better view on how to better help the country. But because my husband is into politics, I get about 3 hours (both left and right) of political immersion EVERY DAY.

You want to know the facts? I have them.

Mitt Romney is a great guy.
Barak Obama is also a great guy.

Neither one of them is trying to make a personal attack on you or your family or your homes. So stop claiming that you HATE them or that they are stupid. You sound like an idiot.

Also show some freaking RESPECT. Have you ever been the president? I would not imagine it's particularly easy. Imagine how hard it must be to get ONE thing done with half of America pitted against you and Congress filibustering over and and over. Whether or not you like his policies, Barak Obama is the PRESIDENT. He spends all day everyday trying to find a way to help people in this country that are hurting. Whether or not YOU agree with how he's doing it, respect that he is trying his best.

You know what I am going to do? Three things.

1. I am going to wait to decide who I am voting for until Romney and Obama can get in the same room and debate the REAL issues. Not dogs on roofs or birth certificates.

2. I am going to challenge the facts. Just because someone is on TV or published in a newspaper, does not mean that they are incapable of lying. Seriously, only google tells the truth these days.

3. I am going to pray that WHOEVER wins the election, whether it's who I vote for or not, that they and their staff are able to help this country succeed. I am going to pray that our government can get thier crap together and stop putting their prejudices ahead of the needs of the American people.

P.S. You know those political meme's? A 7-year old could make them. Stop posting them on Facebook, you ignorant slut ;)

8.14.2012

Things That Weird Me Out

Today, Breck and I were driving in the truck, jamming out to some old tunes.

"Apologize" by OneRepublic came on.
Breck said, "I like this song! It was one of the first songs I heard when I got back from my mission."

"Oh." says me, "This was my MySpace song..."

Yay for age not really mattering after 21!

8.12.2012

East Coast Girls Are Also Cool

What a week! I will sum it up with this: Our stress levels equal this much ice cream.
(Yes that is our fridge, no we are not having an Ice Cream party.)

Anyway, amidst my passionate rant at the KSL lady, I forgot to give the proper highlight to our awesome Ellsworth family reunion.

We did A LOT. But how many times can you look at the same couple posing in front of various landscapes and monuments and still be entertained? Those pictures are all on facebook if you want them, but here are some of the stories:

Sure we went to parks and beaches, national memorials and museums... but better than that, we went to Intercourse, PA, aka AMISH COUNTRY.
It was nuts. No power lines, more horses on the streets than cars, and a group of Mormons were the most scandalously dressed people in sight. It was beautiful
And the Grandmas there ride scooter bikes. I'd like GM to come up with a hybrid as gas efficient as that.


One day we went to the beach. Well, not just any beach... we went to Jersey Shore. (If you do not know why that is significant, I like you even more.) Breck is not a big fan of beach swimming (He hid that fact until AFTER we were married) so we decided to stroll up the board walk to find a crab shack.
Atlantic City sure looked a lot closer than it was. After an hour of walking and not finding anything. We jumped in a car with my brother and his wife and started what I like to call, "The Crappy Crab Adventure." Essentially, my brother and his wife (who doesn't even like seafood) were kind enough to drive us around for 2 hours looking for a place to eat. One restaurant had been struck my lightning, one turned out to not even be a seafood place... you get the picture. But when we FINALLY got our plate of delicious crustacean delights... we were happy as clams.


In Philadelphia, we got to run up the "Rocky Steps." See here:


We felt pretty cool

And so did this guy...

One of my favorite days was spent exploring the Mall at Washington DC. It's not a mall full of teenagers and men that smell better than me. It's a Mall of WONDERS.

It may not have had a Genie in a Lamp... but it DID have Harry Potter's 1st year school robes. Which is magic enough for me.

Eventually we had to say our goodbyes and fly home. Of course, even that was an adventure. Like when I announced to everyone sitting in coach that Brody Jenner was sleeping in first class. It was actually just a guy wearing a bedazzled shirt and jeans meant for Christina Aguilera. He also had a cane, which redeems him a tiny bit. You know, the Bruce Wayne factor.

Also, our bag was left behind when we switched flights, so we had to wait at the DFW airport for an extra 3 hours. Joy! They let us back in the terminal for dinner, meaning we had to go back through security. I was collecting my stuff on the other side when the TSA officer told me that I had a hair pin in my shoe. He was right

And THAT is where all your bobby pins go.

We eventually got our suitcase. And lived happily ever after.

8.07.2012

New Blog Name

Do you get it? Plano and Plain ol'??? Please say you get it because amidst moving and transferring jobs and family reunions with screaming babies, my number one stress has been the name of this blog.

Plus, my cartoon self looks awesome dressed like Daisy Duke, something my real self could never pull off.

Anyway, today's post is all about how I can be a huge b-word. I get away with a lot because of my effective use of "bless her heart" and my dimple size. Oh... you didn't realize dimples allowed you to be a monster? Please refer to Graph A:

It's true, you can ask anyone from the unofficial dimple club:


If you remember, a few weeks ago I was trying to sell my couch. As the moving date approached, I put the couch on KSL (Utah's Craigslist) with the following stipulation:

MUST SELL THIS WEEK (JULY 7-14)

Since then, we have moved to Plano, and traveled to Houston, Arkansas, Cincinnati, Harrisburg, Hershey, Philadelphia, Atlantic City, Richmond, Washington DC and Atlanta, all with little to no internet access.

Any straggling emails I got about the couch I ignored because:
1. I was extremely busy and not paying attention.
2. THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE DO ON KSL.

On Saturday, in between flights home, I got a call from an unknown number. They didn't leave a message so (LIKE A NORMAL PERSON) I didn't worry about it.

But this morning, I got this email:
Hi. I called u Saturday and never got a call back. I even emailed u over a week ago. I think I've been super patient and I want a reply today because you are wasting my time and being disrespectful. Is the gray couch still available or not? If not, u need to take it down immediately so that myself and others on KSL won't be misled. If u r going to put something up on here than u need 2 B responsible for keeping up with it. You seem unprofessional. I will report ur ad if I don't hear back today. Fair warning. Francie

Ummmm what?? Has this girl never been on KSL? It's not exactly stock market trading. I imagine she's the kind of person that sends these texts after a first date:






It (sadly) goes on... but you get the idea.

Anyway. This was my (very unchristian) reply: (MOM DO NOT READ THIS!)

Hi Francie
I am so sorry to keep you waiting. My mom passed away unexpectedly last week and I've had trouble keeping up. I can't believe I didn't think to take down my KSL account! Foolish me! Things are in such disarray, I hope you can understand.

Now Francie, if this would of really happened, wouldn't you feel pretty silly right now? Contrary to your belief, I am not a store clerk at Pottery Barn and I have no "responsibility" to reply to your every beck and call.

And no you cannot have my couch. I am discriminating against your superiority complex. And your poor grammar. You and the KSL police can (explicit).

Hugs and Kisses, Brielle


Oh despicable me.