Do you get it? Plano and Plain ol'??? Please say you get it because amidst moving and transferring jobs and family reunions with screaming babies, my number one stress has been the name of this blog.
Plus, my cartoon self looks awesome dressed like Daisy Duke, something my real self could never pull off.
Anyway, today's post is all about how I can be a huge b-word. I get away with a lot because of my effective use of "bless her heart" and my dimple size. Oh... you didn't realize dimples allowed you to be a monster? Please refer to Graph A:
It's true, you can ask anyone from the unofficial dimple club:
MUST SELL THIS WEEK (JULY 7-14)
Since then, we have moved to Plano, and traveled to Houston, Arkansas, Cincinnati, Harrisburg, Hershey, Philadelphia, Atlantic City, Richmond, Washington DC and Atlanta, all with little to no internet access.
Any straggling emails I got about the couch I ignored because:
1. I was extremely busy and not paying attention.
2. THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE DO ON KSL.
On Saturday, in between flights home, I got a call from an unknown number. They didn't leave a message so (LIKE A NORMAL PERSON) I didn't worry about it.
But this morning, I got this email:
Hi. I called u Saturday and never got a call back. I even emailed u over a week ago. I think I've been super patient and I want a reply today because you are wasting my time and being disrespectful. Is the gray couch still available or not? If not, u need to take it down immediately so that myself and others on KSL won't be misled. If u r going to put something up on here than u need 2 B responsible for keeping up with it. You seem unprofessional. I will report ur ad if I don't hear back today. Fair warning.
Ummmm what?? Has this girl never been on KSL? It's not exactly stock market trading. I imagine she's the kind of person that sends these texts after a first date:
Anyway. This was my (very unchristian) reply: (MOM DO NOT READ THIS!)
I am so sorry to keep you waiting. My mom passed away unexpectedly last week and I've had trouble keeping up. I can't believe I didn't think to take down my KSL account! Foolish me! Things are in such disarray, I hope you can understand.
Now Francie, if this would of really happened, wouldn't you feel pretty silly right now? Contrary to your belief, I am not a store clerk at Pottery Barn and I have no "responsibility" to reply to your every beck and call.
And no you cannot have my couch. I am discriminating against your superiority complex. And your poor grammar. You and the KSL police can (explicit).
Hugs and Kisses,
Oh despicable me.